Bride Guide & Party Planner

Just what we wanted: Finding the perfect gift

By Karla Araujo - March 22, 2007

When I got married in 1980, I got a lot of gifts - wine glasses, decanters, pots and pans, towels, serving pieces, pottery, crystal - enough to furnish my first home. Over the years I found that one gift, a surprisingly unobtrusive one, kept on giving.

A friend from Tennessee brought us a handmade crib quilt crafted right in his hometown. It wasn't a beautiful quilt, but it was patchwork, homey, and just the right size to snuggle under on the sofa while reading or watching TV. In later years it was perfect at the foot of a treasured antique bed we slept in, just the right weight for an extra layer on a nippy New England night. If you had asked me what my favorite gift was at the time of my wedding, I never would have pointed to the modest quilt. Fifteen years later, when I was still reaching for its familiar comfort, there's no doubt it would have taken top prize.

Many Island residents agree that a perfect gift is one that has stood the test of time.

Catherine Urban of Vineyard Haven draws on experience from two marriages. "I still have a five-quart Rival crock pot from my first wedding in 1978," she says with unbridled enthusiasm. "I let my ex-husband have the fine china, but I wanted the crock pot."

Her favorite gift from her 1990 marriage to hotel developer Russ Urban is an engraved silver picture frame. "It holds a wedding photo and has our monogram on the top and the date of our wedding on the bottom. It's simple, but I love it. Every time I look at it, I think of that day and of our friends who took the time to have something special made just for us."

West Tisbury resident Ann Bresnick, married to husband, Adam, for the past decade, says her favorite gift is a pottery bowl that features their name and wedding date. She fills it with fruit and enjoys seeing it on the kitchen counter. She also likes Vineyard photographer Alison Shaw's landscape prints, personalized by the artist for couples with their names and the date of the wedding at the bottom.

Lisa Brown, a well-known professional photographer on the Island, recently married Brendan Langley. Somewhat of a wedding expert, Lisa has photographed hundreds of brides and grooms at Vineyard weddings over the last decade. No Pottery Barn or Crate & Barrel for her, she values traditional heirloom-quality items. "My favorite gifts were an antique sterling spoon and recipe my aunt gave me. It was my grandmother's spoon, and she used it to serve her famous ambrosia," she says. "My mom gave me a sterling silver bowl that belonged to her grandparents. It has their wedding date, April 14, 1929, engraved on it. I also love the Belgian table linens and glass decanter I got from my sister and her friends in Europe."

Local retailers may encourage couples to register for gifts, but they also encourage gift-hunters to use their imaginations.

"I tell people to choose something the bride won't buy for herself, something she'll appreciate; a beautiful bowl, something a little different," says Amber McLean of Rainy Day in Vineyard Haven. Popular gifts chosen at Rainy Day are dishes, table lamps - "anything Vineyard-themed," according to Ms. McLean.

Garry Metters - with his wife, Maria, owner of Vineyard Haven's Bowl & Board - notes: "I see a lot of people combining funds to purchase one really nice gift instead of three or four separate and smaller ones."

Kathleen McGorman, manager of Le Roux at Home on Main Street in Vineyard Haven, offers this advice: "Look for something that isn't a single-purpose item. Choose a gift that is functional but flexible."

Paul Adler, a Chilmark building contractor, points to a large ceramic bowl that sits prominently on a cabinet in the home he shares with his wife, Lisa. "It's the only gift that survived the 17 years," he says, "and every time I look at it, it reminds me of my wedding."

While other gifts seemed great at the time (an expensive video camera from a close friend, for instance), they are obsolete today or just plain worn out. "Give something that retains value, an object that is timeless," he says.

Karla Araujo is a freelance writer living on Martha's Vineyard.